Tips on surviving capitalism:


1. Make good use of you resources. Think, do you have any spare organs you can sell on the black market?

2. Don’t miss a good oppurtunity. If you see a homeless man on the street, don’t just walk by. Instead check if he has any gold caps on his teeth that you could extract at a profit.

3. Remember, expiration dates are just a number and trash cans are like second-hand grocery stores.

4. Kill the part of yourself that feels guilt, pity, compassion, or really any human emotion that isn’t self-serving. They’re just holding you back.

5. Have fun!!!