*continued back to work hoping that my little efforts make a difference but right now at this moment I don’t see how but I will continue! I won’t give in but I really need some advice on what to do when you get to the point of just wanting to give in and go out with a “bang” or do something very irrational I know I’m probably not gone do it but just having those thoughts scare me because I feel like if I think like that it means like the SOW is getting to me and winning

Oh, I’m just seeing this follow up, I’m glad you will endure and keep organizing.  I hope the advice in my initial response is adequate. 

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