I don’t think sex and sexualization are the problem in poly relationships; even though sex, or more accurately Westernization of Sex (commercialization and commodification of sex) are a big issue in all aspects of society, not just marriages.
The real problem in poly relationships is Sexism, Misogyny, and Patriarchy (which are also huge issues in Mono relationships BTW). Men in this system relate to women the same way they relate to property; which is a long standing Western idea that dates back to the earliest Western Civilizations.
In the West women are not fully human, they are not made in God’s image, they were created as an afterthought, from man’s rib. They were created to serve men and produce more men (to rule) and more women (so that they too can produce more men).
That’s just one of the ideological or cultural views and positions that drive or direct Western relationships and treatment of women. The Greeks were not Christians, but they also taught that women were less than fully human, that they were little more than breeding sows. Even the Liberal Western societies still use women and their sex as a selling tool, as a prop; that’s tied to the commercialization of sex I mentioned before.
After being brutally forced into Western Culture and torn from our own culture Africans have internalized many Western traditions and ideas; esp. those related to women, sex, and marriage. After being emancipated from the plantation in the US, the only model of manhood Black men had was White men; so we started working to be equal with White men, to obtain their status and power
Basically, Africans cannot enter into productive relationships, or liberating relationships with these contaminations. Africans of the Diaspora and Africans on the continent all have these contaminations after centuries of invasions, occupations, colonization, and enslavment of Africans by alien Races, cultures, and religions.
Feminist like to argue that there were problems prior to Arab and European invasions, but I don’t know of any current issues that are not currently tied to colonization and enslavement; and I’ve yet to meet a feminist that can tell me of any. I don’t assert that African was a utopia prior to Western and Eastern Invasions, but the problems and issues of pre-colonial African are not problems we are dealing with today.
So, I don’t think single parents, nuclear families, or poly formations are the problem or the solution; and the same problems emerge in all of these formations.
Here’s another thing to consider; polygamy and polyandry in the West is reserved for the Elites. Elite couples have cooks, nannies, gardeners, personal and family assistants, and all other types of supports to help the family function and thrive. Without these supports the Elite families would fall into the same ruts as the lower classes.
Western Culture is poly, it just reserves the polyism for the elites. Instead of rooting its polyism in familial, interpersonal, mutually beneficial, and emotional ties Western Culture roots its polyism in cold, distant, and exploitative economic ties.
Bill Gates is a polygamist, and Melinda Gates is a polyandrist; I bet they have dozens of other “husbands” and “wives” to help run their household, raise their children, and meet their physical, emotional, and social needs. We don’t even need to get into the poly-sex lives of the Elites, we know from the tabloids how they get down on that level. But, poly relationships are about much more than sex; it’s about the construction, preservation, and advancement of the family.
We make the mistake of thinking that just because it takes two (sexually mature) individuals to produce children then that’s the adequate number needed to raise and nurture a child; but that ain’t the case. It truly takes a village, and we are seeing the level of dysfunction the emerges even when you raise children and try to do so in a Nuclear Unit (individualistic culture) instead of a communal culture.
So, Poly or Multi families, homes, and marriages are not only the global standard, it’s much bigger than sex.
I support Polyandry, Polygamy, Multigenerational Homes, Multi Family Homes, Communal Living, and all other intimate and cooperative formations that share the burdens and offer layers of support to children and adults. I did a write up on the folly of the Nuclear Family, you can search my blog archives for it.
I am not in a polygamous or polyandrous relationship; but my wife and I work communally with other families and our extended family; and have so for years.
We can only Nation Build if we Revolutionize and Radicalize all aspects of our Culture, including the family. The Revolutionary Family is not defined by the number of wives or husbands, but by the purpose and principles the family is rooted in and follows. My wife and I, and our children go through all the same shit as other families, but we contemplate, organize, put our time/talent/resources forth, and build towards Revolution, that’s the only difference between us and a non-Revolutionary family unity. Small difference. LOL!
Anyway, sorry for writing a book, but matters of the heart and genitals get people so charged up and rationally loves to exit when the heart and genitals are charged up; so I like to give some context when addressing these issues.