The simple answer is: I’m not a Reactionary, I’m a Revolutionary.
But I don’t think it’s fair to put Essex and Dorner in the same box. Even if I went on an armed rampage I would never be a Dorner cuz Dorner was a Right-Wing, Black Conservative, Integrationist; he lashed out cuz the System rejected him, whereas Essex lashed out because he rejected the System. Big difference.
Many Black Nationalist tried to turn Dorner into some kinda folk hero, or rebel; but his ideology and allegiances were in direct opposition to Blacks, he wanted to be a cop, he was pro-military and authoritarianism. If Dorner had gotten his way, he’d be busting heads at a Black Lives Matter rally in full riot gear along side White police officers.
Essex engaged in what has come to be called employed Maximum Emergency Compensatory Justice (MECJ); look up “The Code” by Neely Fuller for more info on that.
As far as what keeps me focused…, that’s a good question. I just decided that making a positive contribution to the just aspirations of my Race was the best way to expend my life’s energies.
When I was around 14 years old I became aware of the two basic positions of life, to join and strive within the Status Quo, or to go against the Status Quo; and all the people I admired in my community, in the world, and in human history went against the Status Quo; so I decided to as well.
As I begin to study and engage the struggle I’ve only been reinforced in that decision, I’ve never regretted or questioned it, even when shit got hard and hectic.
Note: If I had been born into a balanced and just world I’d be a conservative, not a radical, I’d struggle to sustain the Status Quo.