That’s an easy one; when working with Black women on the issues that are particular or unique to them, simply ask: “how can I be an ally, how can I support you, what do you want/need of and from me?”
Then listen, and act accordingly; even if you don’t like the answer. Even if that answer is; “sit down and be quite for now.”
If what they ask of you is something you are unwilling or unable to give, then get out of their way, don’t obstruct them.
But I don’t think Black men (as a group) are, or can be oppressors of anyone else (as a group); not unless we create, build, and sustain a system of Oppression; which we have not, not saying that we have not, or cannot, but currently there are not institutions or systems Black men control, oppressive or otherwise; I know this is gonna provoke many, but from a material and political standpoint it’s true.
There are Black men can abuse, rape, kill, etc.; but they do so withing a larger system of Women’s oppression. The Oppression emerges from institutions not individuals. You’d have to find any independent Black Male controlled Institution, where they founded, supply, fund, regulate, sustain, and advance that institution to ID a Black Oppressor, or Racist for that much. But that’s on a society level, which is where Oppression emerges from.
On an individual level, we can call a man who abuses an individual an oppressor, or a cop, or a prison guard, etc; Oppressors, and they are, but if you clip them individually, there be dozens of more ready to replace them; because if you fail to dismantle the Systems of Oppression, then you will be chasing you tail.
So, for the sake of discussion, we can toss around the title of Oppressor, and call a cop, or abusive husband an Oppressor, fine, but when we are construction an analysis, or solutions, we have to be more respectful of the semantics and nomenclature.
The Bush Family, who begin wars that kill millions, contaminates lands for millions of years with depleted uranium, and robs nations of trillions of dollars are Oppressors, and they remain respectable member of society, a Black man who rapes women is a criminal; neither is tolerable, both must be oppose with all we are and all we have, but they ain’t the same, and we need to make that disticntions or we’ll not construt effitive methods for opposing either.